In the anticipation of school starting soon and my enthusiasm for writing, I'm attempting to write two blog posts in one day! It's about 9:00 in the evening as I'm writing this but you all won't be seeing it until tomorrow at noon. Ha, technology!


I'm watching Bachelor in Paradise right now. It's where several (ridiculously beautiful) contestants from past seasons of the Bachelor/Bachelorette all compile together like horny teens on a beach in Mexico for a fun filled, hormone fueled, jealousy inducing shit show. Quality television!

The show involves the contestants asking each other out on dates, with a rose ceremony after the end of each week. You know the drill. No rose, no more free drinks on the beach. As you can see, the importance of making connections and rushing yourself into a relationship (per usual of the Bachelor/Bachelorette) is anything but absent.

The ridiculous drama unfolding on the show right now involves Emily, Jared, and Caila. Jared and Emily were kind of a thing, but Emily obviously was way crazier about Jared than Jared was about her. Actually, from what I've been seeing, Jared was probably more interested in the little paper umbrellas he got in his drinks than he was in her.

I should mention that the producers have this horrible habit of bringing new people in at opportune times during the course of the show. Oh, opportune for us - not the contestants. Because just when they think that everything is fine and the drama has subsided, a new bombshell saunters up on the beach and ruins everything all over again. I really think the producers have a sick satisfaction with toying with people's feelings and they should seek professional counseling.

So, Emily and Jared are cautiously navigating the choppy waters of this budding romance and suddenly, a ray of light. Caila emerges like the rising sun on the horizon and the skies clear. For Jared, I mean. Things are about to get much worse for Emily.

Things lead to things, and Caila ends up asking Jared on a date. They ride horses along the water against a backdrop of the setting sun. There's sideways shots of him glancing admiringly at her laughing while the sunlight illuminates her perfect features and glorious hair. It's disgusting, really.

Meanwhile, Emily laments over how she really likes Jared and she's about to get beat out by a girl who's nauseatingly perfect and more intriguing than she could ever be. She cries a little, but ultimately, she admits she wants Jared to be happy.

And suddenly, just for a moment, Emily manages to connect with me on an emotional level despite the absurdity of reality television.

I realized that not too long ago, I was Emily. And not in some weird, trippy way. I mean in the way that I was, and still sometimes am, afraid of being outshone by a girl who my significant other finds more beautiful, more intriguing, and just, well, better than me.

I know sometimes that fear is mostly just that. Fear. But I also know that sometimes, that fear becomes reality and it becomes too real and sickening and devastating. Because as much as you know that you are beautiful and unique and a catch for somebody, it hurts beyond reason when that somebody isn't the person you want it to be.

Here I am watching the ridiculousness in front of me unfold, and I'm ashamed to admit that I let myself forget that yeah, this is exaggerated and no one does this in real life, but even still, these are real people who are sincerely looking for love. Well, aside from the people who are there for "the wrong reasons" but you know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is the reality of reality television is that it's exaggerated as fuck, but somehow, somewhere, there's real humanity underneath it all. Of course some shows have more than others, but it's there. It's there no matter how much you don't want it to be.

So for Emily, and all the others feeling what we've felt and/or are feeling, there are dozens of people that your significant other can be happy with. Literally dozens. It's scientifically impossible for there not to be unless your significant other is a literal potato. And even then, there are plenty of people who love potatoes.

Yeah, all that sounds shitty. It is. But think about it this way. You are with the person you're with for a reason. They chose you. Even if you don't see it, they saw that you are beautiful or smart or funny or something. They saw something in you that they liked better than anything they saw in anyone else.

And even in the worse case scenario where your significant other does happen to find reason to be with someone else, then you don't need that person anyway. You don't need people like that in your life. It's gonna hurt like shit, but trust me. The right person will love you more than anyone you think is better than you.

So you all get out there and tell the people you love that you love them. But most importantly, tell yourself that you love you - because you deserve it!

Because loving yourself first is way more important than expending energy loving someone who won't love you like you do.

And in the meantime, you can watch people with way more drama in their lives from the safety of your couch.

See you all tomorrow!

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