I had English 103 today and my class got into an interesting discussion all about the morality (or lack thereof) of Tinder.
Which is fine.
Trust me, it is. But today I'm going to talk about why Tinder, and online dating, is really a god send to everyone. If you haven't picked up already, most people in the discussion of this earlier were anti-Tinder.
I am not.
But, Sam! Only people who are looking to have drunken, meaningless, fuck fueled kink nights use Tinder
Oh, yeah. There are definitely people on Tinder who want to tie you up and spread Nutella over your ass and then lick it off. There are also people who want to get as deep and personal with you as your vagina and/or asshole will allow.
But surprise surprise. There are also people on Tinder who actually want to get to know you as a human being. There're people who are legitimately looking for a relationship, or who, at the very least, are looking to get a cool conversation out of it. I know, because I met plenty of them.
Because for as many assholes and fuckboys as there are on Tinder, there are just as many, if not more, genuinely nice people who are serious in their intentions of getting serious.
I've met really cool people on there. They and I didn't work out, but I truly wish them all the luck and happiness in the world. I've also met people who weren't the nicest to me and who I'm definitely better off without. If you're on Tinder, chances are you're going to meet both kinds of people. It's up to you to be clear about what you want and what you're looking to get out of meeting (or choosing not to meet - I don't know).
No no no no. Tinder is just the quick, lazy person's route to god knows what.
I'd prefer to say the efficient person's route because many of us have lives outside of the internet and are busy, but yes. You're right. That's exactly what it is. Except you decide how far - or not far - it goes.
But it rushes things and takes the meaning and the suspense and the fulfillment out of the chase!
And that's where you're wrong. Boiled down to it's basic, most fundamental functions and stripped of the stigmas around it, all Tinder is doing is helping you meet people. There's nothing in the description of the app that says you have to sleep with or even meet these people. You don't even have to talk to anyone you match up with if you don't want to. Hell, that's why it's called Tinder. Tinder is the tinder to the fire that could possibly happen between you and Sally Jo from 10 miles away.
So yes, Tinder does take you right past the awkward phase of walking up to someone you saw and were attracted to in person, because you can't tell if that person is single or taken or even interested in you in situations like that. But when you match up with someone on Tinder it's automatically assumed and established that the interest is there. All you need to do is start the conversation.
So Tinder is not telling you that Sally Jo is interested in seeing your willy. It's simply telling you that you managed to evade Sally Jo's left swipe and she may want to talk to you.
So are you admitting that you use(d) Tinder?!
Yes, I am. Why would I be ashamed to admit that I have? Especially when I've been in the healthiest, most mindblowingly awesome relationship I've ever been in for the past year and a half because of Tinder.
Oh, yeah, I must have forgotten to mention. You know Nick? That guy that I write about on here sometimes? You know, the guy who radiates positivity and treats me the way every woman deserves to be treated. That guy who loves me unconditionally and unapologetically? Yeah, I met him on Tinder.
I guess I have Tinder to thank for leading me to one of the most amazing things in my life today. How awful!
Okay, fine, but if things actually work out would you tell your kids that you met their dad on Tinder?!!?
Fuck yeah I would. I would most definitely tell my children that I met their dad on Tinder.
Because before the invention of online dating people were confined to people they met at work, school, or by luck. Sure, for plenty of people that's more than enough. But what about someone like, for example, a single mom who doesn't have time to go out to bars or for people who simply aren't interested in the people already around them?
Are they fucked? Is single life doomed to become their only life? Hell no!
In this day and age, no one is confined to any group that they belong to to meet potential significant others. You can literally meet anyone on the internet. Or within a certain mile radius of you. Or both.
So it doesn't matter if some people just use the internet or Tinder or whatever just to have meaningless sexual encounters with someone in the next town over. I mean it's almost expected. People fucking sleep with each other. It's what happens when humans evolved to have attractions to other humans and have interlocking uglies that feel good when they're bumped together (or attracted to other humans with the same uglies in which case they find ways to feel good. I don't discriminate).
Therefore, when someone invents a new way for people to connect with other people, there's a good chance that someone is going to find a way to exploit that thing for sex. It happened with the internet, the telephone, and for fucks sake, Pokemon Go.
But guess what? You don't have to use any of those things for sex if you don't want to. In fact, the majority of people don't. Most people use them as they're intended to be used.
Guess what also. That same logic applies to Tinder and the whole issue people have created out of online dating.
So if you're still afraid of Tinder and anyone you meet on the internet, you probably haven't used a lot of either of those things. And if that's true, I suggest you take a break from my blog and peruse the great land of opportunity and knowledge (aka the internet) that lies before you.
Come back when you've found Reddit or something and seen some of the real weird shit you can find on the internet. Maybe by then you'd have learned a thing or two about not letting your fear and misunderstanding of something turn you away from a thing that has ultimately provided happiness to millions of people.
You never know. Maybe it could even help you find yours.